This person needs a job. This individual seeks an executive position. 
He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate. 
(Please don't skip the last section!)

RESUME 

GEORGE W. BUSH 
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520  

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE: 

Law Enforcement: 
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine , in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been 'lost' and is not available. 

Military: 
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam . 

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a che erleader. 

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE: 

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. 

I began my career in the oil business in Midland   Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. 

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a deal that took land using taxpayer money. 

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas . 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS : 

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union . During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America ... 

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money. 

I set the record for the most execution S by any gov e rnor in American history. 

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes. 

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT: 

I am the first President in U.S. History to enter office with a criminal record. 

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week. 

I spent the U.S. Surplus. 

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. History. 

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period. 

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period. 

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. Stock market.  

I'm proud that th e members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. H istory. My ' po orest millionaire,' Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her. 

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President. 

I am the all-time U.S. And world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations. 

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron. 

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision. 

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. 

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. History. 

I changed the U.S. Policy to allow convict Ed criminals to be awarded government contracts. 

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. History. 

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government. 

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. History. 

I am the first President in U.S. History to have the United Nations remove the U.S. From the Human Rights Commission. 

I withdrew the U.S. From the World Court of Law. 

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. 'prisoners of war' detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention. 
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election). 

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television. 

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history. 

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history. 

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind. 

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community. 

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime. 

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends. 

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security. 

I am supporting development of a nuclear 'Tactical Bunker Buster' a WMD. 

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice. 

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: 

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view. 

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading an d m y bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view. 

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

PLEASE SEND THIS TO EVERY VOTER YOU KNOW!

So I'm having some trouble understanding all the hooplah involved around Michelle Obama's comments on America. Sure, she said it was the first time in her adult life that she was proud of her country. What's the problem there? This country has brought most of its problems on itself. And when I say "country", I mean our government. Regular people like you and me have no role in the decisions we make. Michelle Obama falls into that category. Yes, republicans say that since she's on the campaign trail she's fair game to be attacked. I disagree. From my understanding, Cindy McCain has been on the campaign trail with her husband, republican candidate John McCain, and even given a few speeches to his supporters in the process. But no one talks about how she was a crackhead. I mean honestly, the woman stole medication from her own organization in order to feed her own personal addiction. But no one mentions that. I have no "beef" with Cindy McCain personally, but I believe if you're going to bag on Obama's wife for comments she's made, then it would only be natural to investigate "the other woman" involved in this. Her comments were blown way out of proportion to make her seem like she was un-patriotic or "ungrateful" for what America has given her, as one conservative put it. Yes, she did get a first class education at Princeton but that was because of her hard work and dedication. Anyone who's an American knows that nothing in this country is "given" to you. And for the other comments she made about how America is evil or something along those lines, lets take a minute to examine this country...

We went into a war under false pretenses, and invaded a country in the middle east based on false intelligence. We destroyed a countries infrastructure in order to gain monetarily. It wasn't to liberate the Iraqi people, or even to remove Saddam Hussein. It was to get oil. We spend something like 10 billion dollars a day in Iraq when public schools in Baltimore, and many other inner cities, don't have enough money to properly educate our future leaders. Its so much more than being proud of a country, but being proud of our leaders. Our leaders are the people that decide on our image, and so far, they aren't doing a very good job.

So in conclusion, I would just like to say that, before you point fingers at someone else, take a second to look at what you've done. I just love how Cindy talks about Michelle's comments. I quietly laugh inside while I ask myself, "Did she snort them, or swallow?" I still debate with myself on that.

Hello everyone. I'm Nolan David Sylvia. I currently appear before you because I'd like to ignite a cause. I've recently graduated high school, and I am enrolled at Howard Community College located in the beautiful city of Columbia, Maryland. But see, this blog wont be about me. At least not entirely. The cause I speak of is a real one. It involves the direction in which our country is moving in, and the decisions that will influence it. It is a subject in which most people around my age (I'm 17), do not quite fully understand, nor are very much interested in. My aim in this blog is to bring out those people who may feel like their voice doesn't count, or aren't very much moved by the subject of politics at all. I want to help my peers understand the world, from someone on their level, who can identify the issues that will affect them most.
You may be wondering how a person like me (Black, gay, a less than stellar student) could've stumbled into such an arena. Well, it all started about 2 or 3 years ago. I started falling asleep to MSNBC, partly because it bored me and helped me go to sleep, but also because the anchors voices were always so soothing :) But one night, I couldn't sleep. I actually decided to watch the news for a change. What the heck I figured, "Find out what's going on in the world Nolan!". So I did. It was a rerun of Countdown with Keith Olbermann that had originally aired a couple hours previously. I have to admit that the colors are what initially attracted me. And his hair is so gorgeous I decided to stay a while. By the end of the hour this man had changed my whole view of the world. Sure, I had watched the news before. I was an avid NBC Nightly News guy with Peter Jennings. But I had never allowed myself to really sit down and watch an actual NEWSPROGRAM. Olbermann made my first real experience with politics, and foreign affairs quite enjoyable. He made it funny, witty, and understandable all at the same time. I steadily began to watch more often, maybe a couple times a week, and by the end of my senior year, my tv was on MSNBC at 6am when i got up for school, and 9:30pm when i got home from work. The whole primary season of course was the starting point of my obsession with politics. The exciting possibilities of the first African American, and Female candidates to be elected as President of the United States, got me.....I have to say.......a little excited. I watched the dramas unfold through the first caucus in Iowa to Obama's Jeremiah Wright controversy, through to Hilary's long awaited concession speech. The process that our country is involved in has me overwhelmed with the need of knowledge to understand our situation in this world. I've come to a place in my life where I feel obligated to share my thoughts with others so we can grow together and finally arrive at a place of understanding. It's sad that, even though teens ages 13-17 cant vote, aren't thoroughly well versed on current events. Or how certain outcomes of such a vital election, could sway their lives in ways they can't imagine. I hope to change that, one person at a time. This job's not going to be easy but someone has to do it.